Friday, December 16, 2011

Two Butterballs in a Tub

I said that I'd explain my blatant nakedness with a turkey featured in my last post. Here goes...

Our family laughs all the time. My mother's family depended upon laughter to get them through winters where they dug frozen potatoes out of the ground with mittenless fingers in order to have a bit of supper. These were the children doing this task mind you. Despite hunger and poverty they sang often and laughed much. So I received part of my sense of humor from this stalwart group. My father also had a wicked sense of humor, and when I say, "wicked," I mean it. Unfortunately I absorbed some of his ornery ways, love the practical joke, and have had to apologize numerous times when I've gone into paroxysms of laughter over someone slipping on ice. You are supposed to ask if they are O.K. before you double over laughing. There are worse things that make me laugh inappropriately that I will not elaborate upon lest you judge me of ill character. I am working on being a better person, really I am, tee hee.

Two friends that have brought an enormous amount of joy and humor into our lives, Timmy and John, are kings of the practical joke, and have done more things to me than I can go into here. Really, it would take a book. Just one example here should do. One Christmas I came home to find that these boys had completely dismantled my Christmas tree and re-decorated it in a completely GOP theme. (I am a liberal and proud - surprised?) There were pictures of George Bush all over it, everything red, white and blue imaginable, including enough patriotic tinsel to decorate, oh, say ten trees. So thanks to them, that year I had a "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" Christmas tree. Just what I always wanted.

The turkey incident was just one of my little attempts to keep up with them and retaliate. They were coming for Thanksgiving, and both are just a bit fastidious about food. So I got this idea for a little movie that would gross them out. Disclaimer: I have a food service sanitation certificate so I do understand the proper way to thaw poultry and would never do this for real. I ran a tub of water, plopped a turkey in and started my film. It began with the faucet, then water running - pan to my razor on edge of tub, soap, other hygiene items - then slowly pan down to turkey. I sent the little movie to them saying that I couldn't wait to see them for dinner. Thankfully this got a good yuck, turkey went into refrigerator and all was normal - until next morning. Then it hit me. A brilliant idea if I do say so and I will. I said to my daughter Tess, "Wouldn't it be funny if we put the turkey back into the tub and it looked like it had been in there all this time and I was just taking a bath with it casually?" She didn't even blink, told me to soap up my vital parts and ran to get the bird and her phone. She snapped the pic and that was that. Rub a dub dub, two butterballs in a tub. Now does this all make perfect sense to you? I thought so.

The moral of the story is: Laugh. Laughing like fools has carried my family through some of life's mightiest storms. Laugh with friends and family, or just at yourself. I crack myself up several times a day. And I can still hear the distinct laughter of people that I've know that are no longer with us. Think about that. Our laughter might be creating a powerful and memorable impression for someone else. Can you hear someone too?

(Geez, are those puka beads Timmy???)

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