Friday, November 2, 2012

Timmy Valentine: A sick man on Etsy

Check out a new Etsy shop just opened by my boyfriend Timmy Valentine. My paramour, my LOV-ah, my pool boy/dresser/driver/gardener/elf.  O.K. he is not my boyfriend. He is my amazingly talented love child that I had with Robert Downey Jr. Actually, I dreamt that one night, and I keep trying to get back into that dream. Alas, I can no longer channel Bobby. Perhaps his political leanings? I don't know but I've heard rumors. Anyway!!! Timmy can sing and dance and paint and sculpt and flower arrange, and muck chicken poo, and sew bustiers with the best of them. The singing part is a big lie. He is a very bad singer, so bad that he cannot even hum a recognizable version of "We're Movin' On Up." Long story. Anyway, I keep this boy busy with my demands, like, "Bring me another Gin Rickey and make it pronto!!" Some years ago, we took on the personas of Hugh and Maureen. It was a fine spring day, we were planting a tree, and I suggested we start speaking as if we were from Kennebunkport, Maine. We fell into this quite nicely, and admired our wit, rolling in the grass, as we do from time to time. Hugh and Maureen have changed their accents from time to time, particularly on long road trips, but we are two peas in a pod.


I have many of his beautiful paintings in my home. Here's is just one of many I have stolen.

He only has a few items up in his shop, but keep checking back, as I'm sure he will add and add. His paintings are a steal. Teenagers on your gift list? No one makes a better sophomoric item than Timmy.

Timmy and I when we are all sweaty from those things we do. 

Timmy in his cody sanantonio pure silver rooster pendant--Hugh wouldn't be caught dead in unisex, he's strictly Nu-Bucks and khakis.

A perfect day, when I still had my beautiful sheep and Timmy dressed me as Bo-Peep.

Hugh and Maureen on their wedding day

Aren't I a lucky girl? This is a perfect man--all I do is toss him the occasional orange candy circus peanut and a bag of Funyuns and he's good to go. Visit his shop and buy stuff.